Best thing since

I thought we had this one. I thought, in this raw decaying whirlwind of America, amidst the evolution deniers and the texting drivers and the vaccine conspiracy theorists, that there was one thing that we, as a society, had down pat. We'd figured it out; everyone could agree. I found comfort in that fact when I could find comfort in no others.

These are two adjacent slices from a loaf of Arnold's Whole Grain Country White Bread. They are not the same width. I haven't seen the Whole Grain Country White Bread episode of How It's Made, so I can't begin to guess how a technology I thought had been tuned to a cinnamon hum might have slipped its gears. I wouldn't have guessed that independently adjustable slice width would even be built into the machine that cuts the loaves, or, having been built in, that it might be misadjusted without anyone noticing. But it was, and it was, and here we are, making a sandwich with unmatched slices of bread.

Way to go, America.